Along my CtoC journey I expect I’ll need to overcome significant emotional challenges, encounter problematical communications with extended ‘nil contact’ periods, and experience a significant number of  costly diversions. Which then just leaves the more simple matter of going and doing the walk itself …

So you can take it that going off on my own for 12 days, leaving my partner and kids behind, isn’t an entirely popular decision. I can’t be the first to go through the dilemmas involved, but not many seem to mention it, so I thought I’d try capturing a few thoughts. It’s not been easy – I’m on about my fourth complete re-write! I suppose what really follows is my vain attempt to justify my actions. One thing’s for sure – you won’t find any magic solutions here.

Within my family there are many well established ‘difficult’ words. In roughly decreasing order of impact these include ‘Boat’, ‘Scuba Diving’, ‘Fell Walking’, ‘Model Flying’ and ‘Running’, Yes, you’ve guessed it, that’s a good start at capturing my own hobbies, or at least those I’d otherwise have liked to vaguely keep up with. Diving became just too difficult.

A Hobby Best Pursued Before the Family Wakes Up

There’s also a secondary list of unfortunate words, such as ‘Sea Fishing’, ‘Cycling’, ‘Youth Hostelling’, ‘Geocaching’, ‘Holiday in Northumberland’, ‘Camping’, ‘Walking’ and ‘Blackburn Rovers’. Many of these are more recent activities, carefully selected by yours truly, in the hope that they will catch the kids’ imaginations and promote shared family experiences. (Yes, it’s a fair cop – taking them to watch Rovers was perhaps a step too far).

The Full Triple Whammy: Boats, Fishing and Northumberland

However, the words that increasingly seem to be the only ones that matter include the likes of ‘X Factor’, ‘Don’t Tell The Bride’ and ‘Shopping’, although I will accept that ‘Swimming’ and ‘Body Boarding’ might make an occasional guest appearance. (I fully expect to spoil the latter by buying the girls some surfboards!) And last but definitely not least there’s all the stuff that comes with normal parental responsibility, like ‘iPods’ and ‘Homework’.

I’ve tried involving all my family, perhaps more especially the girls, in pretty much all of the activities above. But it doesn’t yet feel like I’ve found anything which inspires or motivates them. So, whilst I shall persevere with the approach outlined above, largely because I can’t think of a better one, it’s becoming increasingly clear to me that extended ‘dad and daughter’ walking trips probably aren’t going to happen. Let’s call that the first justification for going off on my own.

My second justification being that pursuing your own challenges and dreams, especially outdoor-active ones, is surely ‘good stuff’ in terms of trying to be an effective role model?

The third, ahem, justification, is that dreaming about and planning outdoor adventure is what gets me through the day job. At work I also tend to spend a lot of time with a peer group who, in their own separate ways, regularly seem to go off and do some pretty amazing things. Most years the family activities described above just about keep a lid on things, but this year it felt like something more challenging was required.

Other factors in my favour are: a) I’m lucky enough to have a job which comes with >6 weeks holiday, b) my partner doesn’t currently work, so she already covers much of the practical day-to-day family stuff, and c) we’re taking a family holiday to somewhere hot and sunny next Easter, just a couple of weeks before my walk is planned.

One aspect which I definitely need to work on is finding a better way of breaking the bad news about my disappearing acts. I even struggle when it comes to occasional work trips. For the CtoC I assumed that the steady deliveries of guidebooks and kit might at least raise a casual question – although in truth I think my partner sees them and guesses correctly, but then plays the game of keeping quiet and leaving me to stew. It always takes me way too long to finally drop the bombshell.

So between now and the walk I guess I’ll be trying to take on a bigger share of the domestic chores, further cut-back on my more selfish hobbies, better disguise any CtoC related spend, and ‘improve’ the tea-room to fells ratio on our two winter YHA weekends. If things get really bad I might even watch the X Factor.

Kill or Cure? – It’s Keswick YHA in December then Hartington in January

Footnote: I’ve just had a Eureka moment – I should, of course, have made this a charity walk!

This entry was posted on Monday, November 12th, 2012 at 19:08 and is filed under About Me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Response to “Domestic Issues”

  1. Easy Walker on February 16th, 2013 at 11:45

    I have 2 daughters myself, and i am slowly trying to get them involved in the outdoor and trekking stuff. Wen they where younger they found it cool but now with al the internet stuff iphones and highschool it becomes harder and harder to get them even out for a short forest walk.

    So i am plannig to just take 1 Daughter at a time and take them for a 2 day weekend trip with a mix of walking, camping, swimming and some real quality time with me :)
    Once there they will be cool with it, but the trick is how to get them there? A nice puzzle for me :)